Complacency

So I try not to get too personal on this thing… I mean aside from discussing free lingerie, my crazy pets, sewing, fashion and the house, but the deep stuff.  Its partly because I feel like it’d make you uncomfortable and partly because, well, I don't want you to know my weaknesses.

Via Live-Inspired

 So here’s the deal. I’m always trying to figure out how to be bigger, badder, better! Always forward looking. I prefer memoirs and self-help, professional and personal development books to novels or fiction. There are SO many brilliant people out there and I just can’t help but soak it up! And then there are all of the projects and interests I have that I could make TWO full time jobs with those alone!

 I remember walking down the street in college - the time of year, where the sun was, what I was wearing, which way the wind was blowing. I was in the process of getting business degree. I was thinking of what I want to do and where I want to work and then it hit me. Out of nowhere.

 I want to work for myself.

by persimmonandpink (etsy)

 At that point in my life I didn’t know many self-employed people. Of course I had done business studies on those who started with something small and expanded to something great… but I didn’t know anyone personally. Now, I’d say a good fraction of my personal network is self-employed and successful. I observe their struggles and witness their stresses… but they’re happy. They’re strong! They’re doing what they love.

WHAT AM I WAITING FOR?!

 That feeling has never altogether left me. Never. I graduated and did what any good college grad does… Spruce up my resume, interview and get a job with a strong company. Did working for someone else ever inspire me? NO. Did it ever motivate me? On occasion. But it paid the bills.

And that’s not good enough for me.

I get too comfortable and being too comfy gets me restless. I get a bug up my butt and I fidget. I talk, I dream, I wish. I take on projects and my creative juices start flowing OMG! there’s no stopping me! I’m on the right track. I’m making progress… My goals are unfolding before me.

By Eida Lee - found via Kind over Matter

Then a little life hiccup happens and I stall… and lose momentum and I settle down a bit and I get comfy again … and thus the cycle starts over again.

Deep down I know it doesn’t happen overnight. Deep down I recognize that as long as I’m doing SOMETHING towards my goals, it is still progress and eventually it will all add up and work out… but I need to figure out a way to get beyond the stalls. I need to figure out a way to remain focused and side-step the hurtles life hurls my way. I know where I want to be. But the method in which to get me there eludes me.

But man… when I get there, it will be awesome!

 I had lunch with an old friend just gave his notice at his boring corporate job to start his own e-marketing business. He’s pumped. He’s excited. He’s terrified. And I cringed to myself because this is what I’ve been wanting to do for the last decade.

He said “I just needed to be inspired”

Bingo!

I need to be inspired and with inspiration will come motivation. My inspiration doesn’t come from my CEO’s manifesto or the latest praise from my boss. It comes from within. My internal drive. My internal desires.

 “You just have to do it, Anne” he said to me as I slurped my Vietnamese soup and fumbled with my chopsticks. “ Give yourself a deadline. You just gotta do it”

 And days later, while not even thinking about it, a deadline popped in my head. Its far enough out where I can map things out and create a timeline but close enough where – HOLY SMOKES, if I’m lazy, it will be here before I know it! And with that deadline there are certain things I need to do to keep me accountable along the way.

Currently awaiting a frame and place in my room

 But By Golly!  I'm on it!